Today I’m grateful that hope isn’t a useless idea.
If you read yesterday’s entry, I had a rough day on Friday. But yesterday I was able to find some hope.
And it turned out to be a fantastic day.
After studying the Stoics, I had decided that I agreed with Seneca (I think it was Seneca) that hope isn’t a good thing, because it indicates that you aren’t accepting your current situation as it is and loving it.
That follows logically, if you look at it in a vacuum. If the goal is Amor Fati, then we aren’t practicing it if we need to have hope.
But guess what. The key word in there is practice. We aren’t going to undo years of conditioning in a week (or 58 days). And the thing that can put us back on track?
It did for me yesterday. It helped me to remember that even though I’m in the middle of a depressive episode, shit always always always changes. To be hopeless, to believe that when things are bad they will always be bad and we might as well pack it in, is silly. That’s not just not accepting reality – it’s denying it.
So today I’m grateful that I’ve learned (once again) that it’s OK to hope. No, I’m grateful to know that it’s necessary to hope when we need to.